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The Untimely Demise of Charaben

In light of my football bentos, Clay from KITV has issued sort of a bento challenge to myself and Susan Yuen. I’ve claimed that I can do a Saints logo bento. I had intended to do it today, but with my eye acting up again, I ended up staying home and doing something else, mainly nothing. After the kids left for school, late again due to a dead car battery, I went back to bed. Somehow my freaking clock ran ahead 3 hours and I woke up around 1 pm. The good part is, I can wear my contact again. It’s much better than the makeshift eye patch I had taped to my forehead this morning.

Mr. Pikko and I did a trial run of NetFlix and for some reason all the movies we’ve wanted to see have been really morbid or depressing. I’ve been in a bit of a dark and dry humor mood for the whole week and needed to get it out of my system. This led me to thinking about charaben and what we bentists do to them on a daily basis.

Satire Bento

Yes, we create cute food. We lovingly make them smile so as to bring a smile to the face of someone during lunch time. Charaben makers hear it all the time: shrieks of joy and lots of times the phrase, “It’s too cute to eat!” Let’s be honest here, though. What happens to these cute little food characters?

We eat them.

I have been deceiving you all this time. I am not really the fun, loving mother figure/creator of adorableness that I seem! I am really a food tormentor! I create in order to destroy! Muahaha!

This information has been deemed classified, as most of us undercover food sadists would never dare photograph their lunches after they become self aware. It is a closely guarded secret.

However, I am willing to give you an inside look at what goes on before the chopsticks dive in.

Satire Bunnies 2

Here we have three egg bunnies. As you can see, two of them have become aware of their fate while the one on the far left has yet to receive word. Perhaps his kamaboko ears are malfunctioning or were frozen too long. In any case, he’s blissfully unaware of what’s going on with his little pink comrade on the other end of the fried rice trench.

Satire Bento Bunnies

This is a better look of why that little guy is screaming. You can see that I’ve already started to eat him. I haven’t even touched the guy in the middle, he’s just panicking because he knows what’s coming. The sweet potato hearts were put right in front of him to help ease the transition, but apparently they didn’t work.

Do not fret. At the time of this writing, they are all at peace, safely stored in my tummy. They did not suffer much at all. In fact, left bunny smiled all the way til the end.

I suppose it’s possible some vegetarians might find this disturbing, as it does have parallels to why some people choose to be vegetarians in the first place. If it does, my apologies, but as I said, I’ve been in a dark humor mood. This is merely an attempt to be funny.

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  • My twisted mind likes to think that the smiling bunny is really a co-conspirator, and thinks that he will be spared.

    Little does he know that he’s wrong!

  • I like how their eyes are bugging out! Ahhhh!!! As a side note, I’m glad you got through your day. 🙂

  • Oh ho, a conspiracy! I think you’re on to something! *tin foil hat*

  • I had to stick this thing in the freezer, their eyes kept melting and sliding down the egg under the lights! lol

  • LOL, reminds me of those Raving Rabbids! Great bento and I knew that you had a twisted side to you! ;D

  • You are an amazingly talented bentist AND writer. Love it!!!

  • Recalling you bemoaning your melting cheese eyes today, I looked at the horror here and wondered if egg white from a boiled egg would work well. You could shave a thin layer off the back of the eggs before you colored them!

    Quail eggs, right? That’s not something you see up here much…

  • I like the purple hearts the most! They are so cute! I really need to learn the art of bento making!

  • Michelle

    Too funny. It reminds me of this – http://threshie.deviantart.com/art/bento-49117354 – animation on DeviantArt.

    Thanks for sharing your humor! Made me chuckle.

  • This is hilarious! You have a nice twisted sense of humor, which I like. >:}

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  • Lol hilarious! Turn out the light and another bite is gone! It’s a murder mystery 🙂

  • LOL that is hilarious 😀 I will keep this one away from Kidlet tho or he will start to refuse my bento lunches on grounds that they are scared 😛

  • This would have made a great Far Side. lol

  • Thank you, Michelle!!

  • I probably should have just used kamaboko leftover from the ears, that’s white too!

    And yeah, I can only get quail eggs from one market chain here.

  • Thanks! I used a metal cutter for that one, so it comes out nice and clean-cut.

  • OMG hahhahaha! That is too funny! Thanks for that!

  • Haha, awesome! Here I was scared that someone was going to be like, “You’re sick, don’t do this again.”

  • It was the Onigiri in the drawing room with the food pick.

  • LOL! “Mom, I heard crying inside, so I was too scared to open it…”

  • Love it! As if the bento weren’t cute enough, the story that went with it is priceless! lol
    I think we need a bento book from you with a story for every bento! 😛

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  • Oh my, I LOVE this bento! Those little pinky cuties definitely have stolen my heart 😀

  • Haha, great idea! That’d make such a great parody of a children’s book. 😀

  • Haha, not only cute, but evil!

  • Julie

    Damn, that bentou is just wicked! 😀 And I love the little story to it, hehe!

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